What is Happiness?
People define happiness differently. Everyone own a different happiness meter on which to grade happiness. We all own different happiness triggers. But generally happiness is broadly defined as:
“A state of well-being, contentment and good fortune.”
Unhappiness usually begin with bad moments who in turn birth bad minutes who begets hours and so bad days, months and even years are birthed.
According to a recent online poll conducted by the Harris poll (http://www.theharrispoll.com/) in the USA, only about 33% of adults are happy and only one in every three persons is happy.
The question to as is: what are the causes of unhappiness?
Well in this post I would present you a list of nine things people do that get them unhappy.
Nine (9) common self-inflicted causes of unhappiness
1. Infeasible Targeting: ambition is a very good driving force but it must be balanced else it can be destructive as well. Most people set their expectations unrealistically high and are thus often disappointed. When the distance between you and your goal is like that of an ant trying to pull a train couch, it is unrealistically big. Please don’t go about setting goals that are too big at the moment. It only ends up discouraging you. Tell yourself the truth.
2. Wrong Happy-o-meters: it is common to hear people say, “I’d be happy when I become like so and so”, or “I’d be happy when I get such and such.” This is how most people measure happiness in the wrong units. This is stark wrong. Your happiness is dependent on your own definition. Be content with what you have. Being content entails accepting what you’ve got, appreciating it while honestly forging ahead. Just be happy as yourself.
3. Hedonic Adoption: another big reason why happiness eludes people is hedonic adoption. Hedonism is a Greek lifestyle that is primarily based on pleasure. People who develop hedonic adoption frown at any bit of hard work. They are only interested in enjoyment. Such lifestyle would surely land them in unhappy times as their wishes never materialize because they never work on them. They just expect things to fix themselves which is impossible. So to get happy drop your hedonic lifestyle and go about working towards your goals with joy.
4. Stark Cowardice: cowards never get happy for they are continually afraid of defeat to the extent that they’d rather stay at their current level than try to do something that they hope would make them happy. This way they desire happiness less than they fear disappointment. The fear of failure is what kills initiative. Don’t mind the risks for he who is afraid of falling off the cliff is never going to see the peak.
5. They think misery precedes happiness: there is this mentality that many people own about happiness. They think misery, suffering and pain precedes happiness well while some people had seen gains at the edge of the pain tunnel many people die in the tunnel. Misery doesn’t have to precede happiness. You don’t have to suffer for a while to get happy actually you can even be happy during the rough times. It’s just a matter of mentality.
6. They believe pursuing happiness is a selfish goal: many people believe that when they pursue self-happiness, they’d have to do it at the expense of others. Well, it is possible for you to step on the toes of others when you are self-ambitioned but self-happiness isn’t just another ambition; it is a life goal. As long as you don’t trample on anyone’s foot it’s safe to go after your happiness. It’s neither selfish nor bad.
7. They try to find meaning in being unhappy: as a result of people viewing happiness wrongly they try to accept being unhappy. They find a meaning for it or even give it one. Accepting to stay unhappy is never right. You’ll always live in the dream world never fulfilling your purpose, making an impact nor leaving a legacy. Do you want to end like this? Such mentalities only make you unhappier and increases the gap between you and happiness.
8. They hope others make them happy: another leading cause of unhappiness is expecting others to be the reason to make you happy. While people can do stuff that gladdens you, that real happiness, that one arising from contentment, good fortune and well-being are within. Stop hoping others would make you happy go and work for your own happiness. If they make you happy it’s a bonus. If they don’t you don’t lose either ways. If however you wait for others to make you happy and they don’t then you’ll get unhappier. This could cause you to have lots of unhappy moments which can add up to an unhappy life so go and make yourself happy.
9. They don’t see the impact of their work: humans are perceptive beings we like to see our impact. We get happy when we see others appreciate our work. When this doesn’t happen (and it does in many cases), we tend to get sad because we feel we’re not good enough. We’re not doing enough. We feel we deserve to be appreciated. Yes it is true we deserve to be appreciated but we deserve to be happy too. Go get happy you deserve it. Besides you are making impact in ways you don’t know.
Now you know what happiness is, what you can decide it is for you and most importantly the why and how of unhappiness.
I would like to conclude this post but by quoting Robert J. Hastings who said:
“Places and circumstances never guarantee happiness. You must decide within yourself whether you want to be happy.”
So go decide to be happy, work on it and you’ll surely get happy.
What else do you think can cause unhappiness? Share in the comments section. I love your views.
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